I Got No Dress Robes
by Cutthroat Pixie
Summary: Remus Lupin/Sirius Black Lily and James' wedding is soon, and Sirius is forgetting something.


Title: I Got No Dress Robes  
Pairing: Remus Lupin/Sirius Black  
Summary: Lily and James' wedding was soon, and Sirius was forgetting something  
Notes: Written for Kat.

* * *

Sirius was forgetting something. He lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking very hard about that thing he was forgetting, but he was getting nowhere. Mostly because it is rather hard to think about something forgotten, but that was beside the point. The point was, there was something that he was supposed to remember, and he had forgotten it, and now he was sitting there, thinking about the thing he had forgotten, which was really not getting him anywhere. Perhaps he would go ask Remus later.

"Must not be that important," he finally said, shrugging and getting up from the bed. As if on some sort of strange, other-wordly cue, Remus chose that very moment to enter the room and start going through Sirius' side of the closet (and by 'side', that meant anywhere Sirius felt like putting his clothes, much to Remus' chagrin). Remus frowned after a moment and turned on Sirius, giving him one of those looking-at-him sort of looks. If Sirius were not an expert on all things Moony-like, he would probably think that Remus was a woman, but he was not about to say that.

Remus made his confused face and then rolled his eyes. "Padfoot, you said that out loud." Before Sirius could respond to that most untruthful statement (Remus must have _read his mind_), Remus spoke again. "Where are your dress robes? I'm going to get mine cleaned before James and Lily's wedding, I'll take yours as well." Remus was ever so helpful, Sirius thought, going to get his dress robes cleaned.

"Wait. I have dress robes?"

It was a very simple question, an innocent one even, but Sirius would later regret it, when he found himself being shoved into dressing room after dressing room with huge, gigantic, enormous, other-synonyms-for-big piles of the most horrid dress robes he had ever seen in his life. There were so many dressing rooms, and so many stores. How could Remus do this to him? Sirius felt very betrayed as he felt another death pile being shoved ("Carefully placed," Remus corrected... somehow) into his arms. Anybody who actually cared to count said piles would find no more than four or five at a time, but numbers could not be used to measure evil, only words could do that.

"Sirius, really. The dress robes are not that bad." Remus was doing it again, that mind reading thing, and Sirius was not liking it at all, possibly even less than he was liking all of the dress robes he was being forced to pull off and on, one after another. Stupid James and Lily, getting married and forcing him to actually wear these things. He finished trying on the final set in his never-ending pile (which... just ended), and exited the dressing room without putting his trousers on.

"Sirius!" Oops. "Get back in there and finished getting dressed. Did you like any of the ones you tried on this time?" Sirius hated them all, but this was the _second_ store they had been to, and Sirius hated shopping with Remus when he was in girl-mode, so he looked at the pile and nodded enthusiastically before Remus shoved him back in the room.

"Your friend needs to keep better track of what he is and is not wearing," the shop owner warned, giving Remus an annoyed glare. Remus gave her an apologetic smile and turned back to the now closed dressing room door.

"So you picked a set you liked, yeah?"

"Oh yeah, totally. Just let me finish putting on my trousers." Sirius was looking at the dress robes, trying to decide which set would be the least painful to wear (and to be seen wearing). He finally picked the least itchy of his choices: a pair of simple, black robes with none of the weird embroidery things the other ones had. Honestly. _Embroidery?_ Who thought of that stuff?

"The designers, most likely," Remus replied to his _mind thoughts_ that were _in his head_. Sirius was really starting to grow jealous of those wicked cool psychic powers that Remus seemed to have. "Let me see what you picked." Remus opened the dressing room door and slipped inside, but not before making sure nobody was looking. Sirius was scowling at the dress robes, and appeared to still be quite trouserless.

"Fancy a dressing room shag, then?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow seductively. He grabbed Remus by the waist and pulled him in for a kiss. Remus made an indignant noise before returning the kiss, a small smile on his face.

"You are horrible," he said, pulling back. "Finish putting your clothes on and grab the robes you want so we can leave."

Sirius saluted and began pulling on his trousers.

---

Back at their apartment, Remus insisted Sirius show him the robes. "You never showed me before, do it now." He shoved the robes at Sirius, who groaned and whined and tried to get away from them, but Remus' insisting was far too insistent and he eventually gave in, grabbing the robes and pulling his clothes off right there in the living room. "This is why we have a living room, so you can get undressed in it." Remus pushed at Sirius' back, trying to coax him into going into the bedroom to change properly.

"Ooh, getting rough there, Moony." Sirius made a show of struggling against Remus, but he made no actual attempt to keep the other boy from leading him into the bedroom. "Didn't know you had it in you."

Remus closed the door behind them as they entered the room. "Oh, I definitely do," he dead-panned. "You bring out the worst in me."

"Screw the robes, then, show me this worst in you." Without another word, Sirius threw the robes he had been holding to the floor and grabbed Remus, pulling him into a heated kiss and laughing slightly at the indigent noise the other boy made. Remus eventually gave in and curled his arms around Sirius' back, deepening the kiss when he did so. Taking this as a good sign, Sirius (none too gently) pushed Remus to the floor, right on top of the previously discarded robes.

"Got to break them in," he said breathlessly when Remus made to protest.

"Oh fine, you pervert," Remus said back, pulling Sirius into another kiss and fully giving into the desecration of Sirius' new dress robes. He would get a lot of odd looks when he took the robes in to be cleaned, surely, and Sirius would make barely veiled jokes about thisoccurrence when he had to actually wear the robes, but as Sirius kissed down Remus' neck, he could not find it in him to care.

"...What was that, Moony?"

"Oh great," Remus said, groaning. "Now I'm doing it too."

He cut Sirius off with a kiss before he could even think about asking what Remus meant.


End file.
